starting music: 'shade' - jess mcavoy

sometimes i amaze even myself with my stupidity..

while i'm not stupid to have these concerns and to feel the insecurities that i'm feeling..
i have been stupid to obsess so much over them..

who am i trying to kid??

i know she loves me and only me..
sure, she may not be the most sensitive and compassionate partner (and really, who is?)..she's my grrl...and she's perfect for me..

i know we need to talk a bit more about things...i need to better express my thoughts and feelings...but really, at the end of the day we do have it lucky..

after almost 2 years and a rollercoaster-ride of a time, we're still together..and we're strong...strong enough to get past all these silly little bumps in the road..

yes...i have worries and insecurities...but really, if she hasn't left me by now, chances are she's not going to. and i certainly can't see her leaving me for her ex..
i just need to ignore the ex's obsessive personality..

tonite, when she got home, i hadn't cooked cuz i was so fucked from my morning shift, so i suggested hungry jacks (burger king in disguise)...all the way there, and most of the way home i hardly spoke to her - but mostly cuz i didn't know what to say.
i knew i'd been a dick this afternoon (with all the emails and whatnot)..and it was time to wave the white flag.
the main thing i wanted to sort out, was how stupid and wrong i was the other day for sending her that email saying how i regretted chosing her over my family...
i did say that..
but i was wrong..

i do not in any way, shape or form regret standing by the grrl on this...my mother was wrong. and i'll keep thinking that until the end of forever. because for all her faults (most of which i'm the first to point out), the grrl is a great person and i wont have anyone saying otherwise..

so yeah...

sometimes, i think i should kick my own ass, though...for thinking the ridiculous shit that i do..

anyway, the grrl is out at basketball (i'm too wrecked to go watch), so i'm gonna go curl up on her side of the bed with my kathy reichs book

ending music: 'closer to myself - kendall payne



0 comment so far..

<< back >>- - - - - << next >>

---

last five

jul 2 - fuckers

jun 13 - bored

may 11 - GAMSAT

april 20 - adios

apr 13 - babble