listening to - "basically" the murmurs

so i deliberately made a big deal about leaving work early so that i could come to melbourne, check into my motel and study..
i've been here approximately 2 hours and done zero studying..heh..
rather, i have all of my revision laid out besides me in neat little piles, hoping that i will learn via osmosis...or something like that.

on my way down here, i msg'd the grrl and asked her if she'd like to do dinner/drinks tonight (knowing full well that she wouldn't want to, but i thought i'd give it a go)...i doubt very much that she will decide to come out tonight, but just the sms/emailing back and forth about it has been nice.
i would like to see her, though..if for no other reason than to hang with someone and just chill out before tomorrow's brain-numbing badness.
"why are you still going through with this?"?, i hear you ask me..
i do not know..
possibly because i want to prove something to myself. possibly because i am a masochist. possibly a bit of both.
but one thing is for sure - what ever it is that is compelling me to go through with trying to achieve this unattainable goal, is also the same thing that pushes me on to believe that someone who is so bad for me is the only person i want.



ooohhh...off topic.
i have decided that if i fail the GAMSAT, i'm going to sell my car and buy a subaru RV. heh..see - more incentive to do bismally.



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