this break up certainly has been sucky..
just when i begin to think i've climbed close to the top of the hill of getting over her...something happens and i find myself back down near the bottom..
mostly it's my own doing though..i stupidly think i could communicate with her like an adult...and then she does or says something horrid. and i should expect it from her..because she always does.
why i am finding it so hard to get over someone that has done nothing but caused me grief for so long??
my god..i hate her sometimes..and she is awful and evil and vile..and nasty..and petty..and selfish...but for some reason, all of those things don't matter, because there are times when she's loving and wonderful and sweet.
bleh..*bangs head on desk*..
it's fucked..
it's such a viscious circle..and i have to get myself out of it before i go nuts..
if only there was some kind of medicinal substitution therapy for lost loves..

anyway..now i'm sounding even more pathetic than i was before..

i'm going to melbourne tomorrow..and i'm going to go out and get drunk and slut around as if my life depends on it..i'm going to fuck her out of my system if need be.
and the scary thing is, i'd actually do that..



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