i got my contract for the prison in the mail today...and now it's all feeling nice and real..
my first shift is the monday after next..which is mostly going to be induction...security briefing and uniform fitting..but still..it means i'm actually there.
i dont know why i love it there so much...other than it's the only place i ever had a clinical environment where i really loved what i was doing. i mean, i loved my placement on surgical ward, too..but i think that was also because linda was there and it was cool working with her..
but the jail is just awsome.
and the money is a nice incentive, too..
speaking of money...i so can't wait until payday...there is so much shit i wanna just run out and buy. of course, my hospital pay packet is kinda ordinary...nothing worth writing home about..but i'm sure after being on austudy all these years it will be a nice change at first.

ok...so i was a cock head before and i asked sam to come down here for the nite...to see me...because i do not leaving things like this...all this shit has gone on via SMS and email...and not once have we had the chance to sit down and talk...in person...which sucks....coz neither or us are as assholish in person - although i do tend to cry like a fuckin baby if she hurts my feelings..so maybe that's what's stopping her, she's scared of a tearfest. either that or she really is the tightass i often think she is and she doesn't want to waste $50 on a full tank of fuel to come down here and waste a few hours of her time on me.
but it's kinda good in a way...as crushing as it feels..becasue then it just all adds up in my lil pile of things to hold against her..and i'm sure it'll make it easier for me to just get fed up and totally give up on her.
i told her today that the day is coming where i will just walk past her on the street, and have no desire to even speak to her...and i know that's coming...because i got to that stage with elly cuz she was a cunt during our break up. in fact, i've gotten to that stage with most people - except for maybe linnie..but she seems to be the exception to all of my rules.

anyway...i'm feeling partcularly crushed right now...so i think i might go and drown my sorrows in a spa...or rearrange my room...or go shopping. anything is better than sitting in an empty house, waiting for a dumb grrl to be nice to me..



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