i really just want to be left alone..and no one in this fucking house seems to understand that

i have been hiding out at kate's all day long, so that i wouldn't have to deal with mum and robert - but as soon as i fucking walk in the door they're on my case.
"do this..", "do that".."lets go here".."lets do there". i am not interested in doing anything other than locking myself in this room and using my cmputer as a front line to communicating with the outside world..
they knock on my door...they call my phone....and while i know they just wanna spend time with me cuz they care about me, it drives me
INSANE!

even today, after i made it quite clear that i was going around to kates to hide out in peace, robert came around for attention. i know he's on holidays and he wants to spend time with me (i dont know why though, i'm like a miserable bitch of a bear with a sore head)...but i really want to be left all by myself (with the exception of kate's company, of course)..

i'm really quite miserable at the moment..and they're constant barrage isn't helping.

sam and i have sent quite a few emails back and forth this afternoon (even though i was determined not to) ..and it's still as pathetic as ever..

she has no intention what-so-ever to do anything ever to make this (or any other, i assume) relationship work.
it's all too much effort for her..
which, of course, is something i know..because it's been drilled in to me a million times already..
but i guess i was just making sure..

she tried to get me to go along to her lil pity party...but telling me that it's no wonder i dont want her...but i told her to get over it and start reminding herself that SHE'S the one that can't be bothered making any effort.

i just wish christmas day would hurry up and arrive so that i have a fan-fucking-tastic excuse to eat myself to death..




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