things have been going good with the grrl and i..even though our only source of communication over the past 8 days has been via sms and email...but it's getting better...

or it was..

i made the mistake of asking if she'd heard from skank...
i dunno why i ask..because i know the answer is gonna bug me. but not only had she heard from her, but she went out to the movies with skank and her skanky mates on sunday nite..
nope..
couldn't come visit me when i made it clear i wanted nothing more than for her to go out of her way and come to me..
but she couldn't go out..

she told me it's cuz she needed cheering up..

i dunno..

the fucking mere mention of the skank sickens me, and the thought of her even being within 5kms of the grrl absolutely sickens me...i wish she'd never ever come back into the grrl's life..

i remember the day she MSN'd me and started chatting and hinting about visiting sam and i...and i thought "what harm could it do?"...pffft...gawd...talk about a bad judgement call..
i've felt nothing but insecurity since her return, and doubt i'll ever feel any different. i dont know how to feel different - because i've never felt this threatened by anyone before..and that sickens me because it makes me feel like the lesser person...
that i, dannii, am intimidated and threatened by her...that vile little excuse of a human being...*sigh*..

i know she's sam's friend...and i really, really, really wish that i could respect that. but i can't..i simply can't. i dont think anything would get me over my intense dislike of her...and that irks me...because i'm not really a big fan of negative feelings...nor do i like knowing that my feelings for someone else impacts so much on my relationship with sam.

anyone know a good therapist??
anyone
anyone
bueller?
bueller?

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