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dannii


august 4 - hypocricy [2003-08-04 @ 4:09 p.m.]

i had come home from uni to go to bed..but i called sam to see how she was..from there..sms's started..and now i think it's all bad.

undoubtedly, she will kill my internet connection as soon as she realises i am online (she'll know this, because my last few sms's have been via ICQ)..

i know i am blase..but she seems to think i am stupid.

she thinks that in 2 years i have not gotten to know her character at all, and that i would not pre-empt her actions..
i know she thinks she is straight..
and i know she has her eye on one boy in particular (who, i think is the nicest guy ever)..
she thinks i believe nothing went on on friday nite..maybe she doesn't want to tell me because it may hurt me. but really, it couldn't be further from the truth..

i want her to be happy..

but, i do not want to work on a friendship with someone who is going to keep me in the same darkness that they did when we were lovers..

i confessed that i wasn't as innocent as i led her to believe on friday nite..so now she's mad..and telling me "don't try to contact me..have a nice life"...only i want to know if she's mad because i lied, or because i moved on (just as fast as she did, apparently)..
because if she's mad that i dared go find life after her, then she's a hypocrite, and i'm sure my current good mood will change. because i fucking hate hypocrites.



anyway, i'm not going to stress about it...because tomorrow is a new day, and i have great things in store. i have no desire to linger in the past and try and sort out old wrongs - we met..fell in love..fell apart. simple. nothing can be done. nothing can change..
hopefully we'll keep up the friendship...but if she keeps it up at this rate, i'll have no desire to do that either.
i'm not her puppy dog anymore..and what happens from here on in will happen on MY terms..not hers..



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