man i'm tired..*yawns*...

i was online chatting with hedge until 4..crawled into bed not long after that..and then the good morning sms's started..

it's nice to know that someone's thinking of me *laughing*...although, had i not already been awake i dont think i would have thought it was so nice..

heh..

but yeah...i didn't manage to drift off until about 6am..and had to be up at 7 for uni..it's been a while since i've pulled any kind of all nighter, and while i'm paying for it now, it felt good to know that i didn't have any reason not to stay up all hours..

the grrl sms'd me before..she knows i'm coming to melb tomorrow..and i think she's shitty that i wasn't planning on visiting her while i was in town..but i dont think i have the time..
i'd like to go see her..the nurse me kinda wants to check her out for myself...but i dont know if it would turn out being a good thing or a bad thing..afterall, lately my presence alone has caused her grief..and i can only imagine it would be multiplied with her current situation...and to be totally selfish, i'm in too good of a mood to be brought down with any shit about our past..

not only that..
but at the moment, my main motivation behind going to melbourne is to catch up with nance..and bring her down here so she can do some of her own uni stuff here on campus..

but yeah..

we shall see what happens..

after all this time of being expected to wait around for her attention, it's a nice change to feel like i'm not compelled to run to her..

her message was one of guilt.."so you can't even make time for me knowing i almost died"..
but she didn't..
and she's safe
and sound
and surrounded by all the people she wanted to be able to spend more time with anyway..

am i being a cunt?





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