*banging my head against my desk*

sometimes i wonder if it's better to *talk*, or to leave things unsaid...because sometimes when i talk, i turn into cunt mode and just cant help but antagonise the situation...

she came online before, and had obviously read my previous few entries..she managed bitch and scream and turn it back around on me, but didn't once admit that maybe she is the one who made all this worse..

i know i am not the perfect partner...and i've never claimed to be..

but i have told her what i do and don't like, and she knows what i will and wont tolerate, but still she finds justification in her actions..*grrr*...

so today i am the bad guy...
i am bad because i didn't take into consideration "how much effort it took for her to come here", "how bored she was"..and i'm also bad for not saying "thank you" for her being here yesterday for my mother..

WTF???? to me...some things DO NOT need to be said because they are just given...of course i was fucking thankful that the grrl was here to be with my mother when i wasn't...but jesus...fuck me gently with a chainsaw for not say so!

christ..

do you know how many times we've fought because i haven't said thank-you, or i haven't openly/verbaly expressed my appreciation for something that i felt didn't need to be verbalised???

god...i don't expect thanks for every single thing i do for her, when sometimes i feel i do alot...but in a relationship, i know that things are just done without being expected...or at least i used to think that....because now it seems like i've been doing the wrong thing.

but i'm going to go and lay down....thinking about all of this shit is giving me the nastiest headache

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