so i came back to melbourne to sort stuff out with the grrl...and so far so good, everything seems back on track again..*smiling*. with everything that's been going on over the last few weeks, and all the shit in my head, i know i've been an unbearable little cunt...and i'm amazed that she still loves me. although, that is a two way street. we are both unbearable cunts at times, but we do love each other, so we find a way to over look the bad and appreciate the good.
my star sign for today was fairly positive:-

"Yes, it is your turn, dear Aquarius, so step up to the plate and take the initiative. Don't waste your time anymore waiting for someone else to take the lead. If you don't like the way things are going in a current situation, stand up and demand change. You have a refreshing new outlook on things that is healing, and in some ways very revolutionary. Validate this point of view and promote it to the people around you. "

yesterday and last nite the grrl and i managed to have a bit of a talk..not much of a talk (because we all know i hate talking) but it was a start...she voiced her opinions, and i voiced mine...and while we came to no real compromise on the whole linda situation (partly because i do not believe that my friendships have any bearing on my relationship) - we both made it quite clear that we love each other a lot, and we need to just focus on that..
last nite, the grrl asked me if i felt that love alone was enough..and normally, i would say no..normally i would say that while love is important, it is not enough to keep 2 people together..but with the grrl, there is so much more than love..and not only that, but the love i feel for her is unlike anything else i've ever felt for anyone else...

i just got an email from someone who kinda has the luxury of watching my life from a distance..and this mail was all about me, and the grrl, and my ex, and the grrls feelings on my ex - and it made so much sense..i wish i had read it before talking to the grrl and i last nite..
all sam really wants is for me to not go out of my way to do stuff with linda..sam realizes that linda is a part of my circle of friends (even more so once kater moves in there), and sam knows that as much as she hates it, linda will always be a part of my life..all sam really wants is for me to promise that i wont go out of my way to have coffee, lunch or dinner..and really, looking at it from the grrls point of view - that's not much to ask. i had forgotten about the little episode not too long ago where i got all bent out of shape because the grrl was on the phone to her ex..so i guess i'm a big fucking hypocrite seeings as i can go out to lunch and dinner with mine and think that that is all ok...
i also think i am just being pigheaded because i resent the fact that the grrl would insist i do something...but she is my partner, and i guess she has every right to insist..

but my time here at the little dodgey asian net cafe has run out..

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