i am home..
after a 4 four car drive, a 10 hour bus trip (overnite no less), a 3 hour train ride this morning, and what seemed like a very looonnnnngggg drive from morwell station out to churchill, i made it home.
last nite on the bus, was a very long and terrifying nite..at about 11pm last nite (in a butt-ass town in the middle of nowhere) i got a call on my mobile..the display showed some sydney/new number, so i just assumed it was simone callin me..it wasn't...it was some operator from vital call. vital call is the company behind the new and improved duress button that my mother has to press in times of need...so me thinking it is simone, answered "hello schnoooochums", only to be greeted by some total stranger informing me that my mother has pressed her magic button, and she is in need of emergency medical assistance...well fuck me if i didn't almost spew right then and there out of pure fear...in an instant, it felt as if every horrible nightmare i had had in the last 3 months was going to come true - i was 1,000kms away from home, and i thought my mother was going to die..
in an instant, i thought about calling sam and having her drive to my mother, but really, that wasn't the most practical option - her being over an hour away, and robert being in bed sleeping...so i did what any person who was freaking out would do, and i called the person i knew who was the closest (geographically)..i called my ex...i called her and she left her house and headed out to my mothers before i could even get off the phone...
the grrl was a little bit irked that she hadn't been the first person i called, but i was just so worried about mum, and about robert, that i just wanted someone to be there with them *NOW*...
so my ex sped along from morwell to churchill (even beating the ambulance here), and helped calm mum down. mum thought she was having some kind of heart attack (shortness of breath, chest pain, stuff like that), but her heart tests were fine and they came to the conclusion that she was just experiencing some kind of food poisoning, but it was goood that she pressed her vital call button none the less...
i was so fucking relieved to hear "oh it's just food poisoning", but still, i was scared shitless..
so i think that my trip to broken hill will most likely be my last trip anywhere out of the state - at least for a while..

i remember when i was younger, my dad always had us packing our bags and heading off all over the country side..we did it so often, that a large part of my schooling was done kinda by correspondance while i was sitting on a beach, or in a national park far far away from home. it was great. dad really wanted my sister and i to develop an appreciation for all the beauty we had right here at our fingertips..
"get to know your own country," he would say, "before you go exploring anyone elses"..sure, he was a little disappointed when at 18 i packed my bags to retrace christopher columbus's steps and head over to the US..but he liked the fact that i had inherited his sense of adventure, and his love of travelling. i have always loved to travel, and used to often find myself on a bus to sydney just *to relax*..even now, i enjoy my twice weekly trips to and from melbourne..not that i actually enjoy being away from the girl, it's just the actual act of sitting on a train (or a bus, or a plane) and zoning out for a few hours..

but enough babble...

so i just had the longest nap..and god did i have some sleep to catch up on...i tried sleeping on the bus last nite, but the evil little old lady behind me was obviously delirious from sleep deprivation, and she chuckled all the way home - and it kept me awake. there were a few times that i was tempted to wack her on the head with something, but instead i just opted to listen to the mixed cd that hedge sent me..at about 4am, during a 50minute stop over in ballarat, i went in search of a toilet, and some very spunky kiwi tourist saw me and grabbed my hand and asked me how my mother was..she obviously heard one of my many conversations the the grrl/my ex/mum during the nite..hahaha..it was nice though, that a stranger would care enough to ask..

i'm just glad that mum's ok...god...i don't think i could even begin to exress how fucking scared i was last nite...all of these terrible thoughts just raced and raced through my head...but at least i picked a good nite to come home...i could only imagine how terrible i would have felt had i stayed in broken hill..because, unless i went via adealide, i would have had to have waited until wednesday to get home. so yeah...looks like at the end of the day, everything was timed pretty much perfectly..

i still wanna go back to bed tho *yawn*

i will spend tomorrow with mum doing stuff around the house, and finalising some things that should have been done weeks ago, and then i will head back to melbourne to curl up with my girl..

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