this morning (after the parental incident)...i was all set to go down to uni and discontinue my semester. i don't want to study no more...well, at least not at the moment. i have been there since 1996 and i just want to have a semester off. i think that's where my current negative attitude towards uni is coming from - i figure if i fuck up real bad, i'll fail and have no choice but to take first semester next year off.
but then at about 11am i got an email from my subject coordinator telling me that "no hole is too deep to crawl out of"..and that she would "hate to see me give in now" ...mmmm...talk about sending me on a guilt trip. i do love studying...and i love this course...and i think i'd make a pretty good nurse ~ but i just wanna be selfish and have a break.
i have so much incomplete work that it is going to take me forever to catch up....i have 3 outsanding assignments....2 OSCA's (ongoing student clinical assessments)....and 2 exams to make up for. fuck me...i have never ever ever been this slack with my work...and to be honest, it's kinda scary.
three months ago, i was sooooo into my studies - i was an absolute dork. i always re-wrote my study notes..and i did my readings..and i even learn't diagrams just incase they popped up on an exam. but fot the last 3 months the most i've done is borrowed a few books from the library with only half an intention of actually reading anything.
i really scare myself when i know that i've lost interest in something - because i know that no matter how much i (or others) try, i just won't do something i have no interest in...it's always the same with me. it happened back in 1984 when i cried and cried and cried to my parents that i REALLY wanted to take up littla athletics - and then after a few months...pffffft...i had no interest so i never went back.
jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble