i had a good nite last nite chatting to kater...she is always great for making me see reality and the brighter side of things. she always lets me know that ilfe is too short to cling on to things.
i had lots of dreams about linda last nite..well, maybe i just had one great big long dream about her - either way it was great.
no matter what happens between us or her and nikki or me and anyone else, i will always be able to see linnie as i want to in my dreams - and no one or nothing can change that.
in my dreams she will always be beautiful [not that she isn't in reality]...she will always be smiling...her skin will always be silky smooth and soft...and she will always be as i remember her - the most amazing woman that i've ever met.
it's funny, no matter how much we fought or screamed or cried..no matter how much we hurt each other with out words or actions, Linda will always be the most wonderous thing that ever happened to me. she came in to my life from out of no where, and totally turned it upside down (for the better).
she gave me so much, and taught me so much, that i will forever be a better person because of her. sometimes i know i sound like a fool - or even worse, a stalker [think "single white female"]...but if you knew her you would understand.
i know she can be a bitch...even worse, at times...but at the end of the day i could lay down next to her and think that "everything will be just fine". it's weird how fast things can change...and how one day i can be her beloved precious pet - and the next day I'm just plain old dannii...sometimes i wish my feelings for her were different...actually, i wish that i could be indifferent and just think "oh well, ya win some, ya lose some"...but at least i can sit back and smile, and dream about us and our time together.
i would like to think that one day, a little bit further down the track, linda and i will have our second chance...who knows what the next 1, 5, 10 years will bring. not that i am going to wait for her [life is definately too short for that] but i think i will always be ready for a second chance...
i know my age became a problem with linda...not tyhat i was so terribly young and immature, but i knew she always craved friends her own age...i could never understand or look at things quite like she could...i am a product of the 70's...i grew up in the 80's...i am very much a GenX'er.. and i guess that she really couldn't understand that either.
But from now on I am going to try and babble a litle bit less about linda...
the more i just keep her in my head the better it will be.
Yes, I have my little shrine to her in my bedroom...and my little black book full of emails and memories...i even have her SMS messages stored in my phone. I know slowly I will get rid of them...and the photos will come down and the black book will be hidden in a box somewhere at the very top of my wardrobe...but until then I am going to relish my memories of her...and keep her as close to my heart as I can.
~dannii
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jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble