sometimes i wish there was a magic pill that i could take that would make me forget..

not forget everything...just the feelings. the lonliness...the longling...
i dont want to forget her completely...i just want to forget loving her...so that i wouldn't know what it i i feel i'm missing out on.
then i could move on...settle down with miss right...and everything would be good.
at least, it would be good because i wouldn't know any better.

i once wrote that i truely believed that i would be incapable of loving someone else how i loved her..and here, now, 14months later - i still believe that.
dont get me wrong...i do not believe that i am totally incapable of loving. i'm just broken and incapable of loving that much.

i need to stop thinking of all this stuff, though..i need to nip it all in the bud as soon as it gets in my head, otherwise i wind up consumed by thoughts of her..which really isn't all that bad, but also isn't all that healthy..

*sighs*

please someone, invent that pill..because i really would like to forget..





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