it's been a few days since i last updated..and not because i've been too busy working...but rather because since friday i've been out having myself a life...and what a fun life it is that i sometimes get to lead *grinning

without going into too much detail...the thing with ali and i has finally been resolved. after bouncing a few emails back and forth we cleared up some of the confusion and now i feel a whole lot better. we caught up on friday and spent some quality time together and it felt like old times...like how it did back when i was just "the dyke with the crush"...and it was nice.

after that, i headed down to melbourne to go out and play on friday night..and i did exactly that..drank..laughed...played...and kissed a few too many people..but it was fun...i enjoyed myself...and it was a nice lil stroke to the ego to see that i could still pull the chicks...hahaha...so yeah...i ended up calling in sick to work on saturday morning cuz i really didn't want to have to rush back..and that turned out to be a good thing cuz i totally trashed myself and wouldn't have been able to even drive back let alone actually do any work.

i went out again tonite with one of the chicks that i kissed on friday night. her and some mates were heading out for some sunday night dyke karaoke so i decided to be sociable and go meet them in the city...she's a bubbly lil chick...all cute n cuddly...but tonite she was all weird and pressuring me to kiss her again and again...and it weirded me out. not only because i dont like being pressured, but also cuz i dont like having to perform on demand (well..maybe that's not totally true..hehe)...but yeah...she was all "kiss me...kiss me...why aren't you kissing me" and it got to the stage where i had to continually put things in my mouth (gum...food...drink) so i didn't have to have her in there as well...i know i should have been honest and told her she was freaking me out, but i didn't wanna hurt her feelings. although i know i did, cuz i overheard her comment to one of her friends about feeling rejected. but hey..what can ya do??
not only that..but there's something stomach-churningly sickening about just kissing people for the fun ot it. kissing to me has always been an extremely intimate thing..something that i like to save for those i am extremely hot for..(unless i'm drunk...then it's fair game...haha)
not only that, but i was drunk and horny when i kissed her the other night...very drunk...very horny...and i'm just not in the same mood tonight. apart from a very long day at work and some other work related stuff on my mind, i'm also sober... and sometimes i wont even kiss my partner when i'm sober, let alone someone i'm not 150% into. she's a nice chick though, so i hope this hasn't made things weird between us.
also..to be totally honest...i was more interested in one of the mates she had there with her. i swear, from the momet i walked in to the room and saw her i was in lust..this chick was hot..well...i thought she was..and i found myself ogling her at any chance i could get...although we spent a few hours hanging out together and talking, i really didn't find out that much about her...but i'd like to. so much so, that after leaving, i found her car and left a little note (with my phone number) jammed in her car door. corny, i know..but hey..you never never know if you never never go...knowing my luck the damn thing will get blown away in the wind...
so tonite on my way back to the motel i got an SMS and my heart kinda did sommersaults thinking that it was the hot chick..but instead it was the other chick asking "why didn't you wanna kiss me?"...dear me...i just dont get chicks who get all freaky and posessive and stalkerish. not that i can talk. i left a note jammed in someone's car door..hahaha...so i guess maybe that makes me freaky and stalkerish, too..

oh well..

i need to get to bed...



oh yeah...happy fathers day papa smurf...i miss you.

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