how can it be...after just getting lots and lots of sex (not to mention a pretty fullfilling ass masssage) that i am still as horny as a trucker whore on crack??
no..
more..
i'm worse than a trucker whore on crack..
i'm as randy as a..
oh fuck it..
i just want more, ok??

and last nite..getting a rather erotic ass-massage (followed by some dry humping with a strap on *L*) from the spunky chick didn't help, either..
it seems like the more i get...the more i want...and get...and want...and it seems to be never ending..

am i really making up for lost time?
or am i simply just a slut?
not that i really care what the answer to either of those questions is...i just wanna go out and find something that will quench this thirst..because...really...i dont think i could keep on going like this for very much longer.

so tonite on my way home from work i dropped past my boss's place to get my hospital uniform..and she looked so adorable when she greeted me at the door that i just wanted to grab her and kiss her or something. which leads to a bit of a problem that i have..
because..
i have a huge-ass fucking crush on my boss...and i have no idea at all how to deal with it.
her being my boss (well..she's not really my boss...but she is the person most responsible for my professinal development at the prison) is just one small obstacle..and her being quite straight is another..
well..i think she's straight...
i know she's been married..and has dated guys since her divorce...but...i dunno...there is just something about her that doesn't seem so straight. and i'm yet to put my finger on it (or on her, for that matter)...and i want to...because she really gets my curiosity going..
i dunno..maybe it's just my wishful thinking...
maybe all the little things that she does that make me think she's not-so-straight are just in my head..

i like her, though..
a lot..
and i like hanging out and spending time with her.
we went out to dinner and a movie the other nite..and even though mum and pog came along and tried ruining dinner..it was nice..and fun..and i want to do more of that with her..and she does too..but i dont know if it's because she is interested in me, or if she just likes the company..
sometimes she'll do or say things that makes me think she's really interested in me...but it never goes any further than a sexual comment or flirtatious touch..and me being me of course would never be inappropriate and take it any further..
i've been thinking lately that maybe her being straight (or simply heteroflexible) is why it never goes beyond a comment or a touch - becasue she doesn't know how to take it further, either...
i dunno..
maybe i'm just delusional..
either way...i think i'm playing with fire..because...at the end of the day we are colleagues and anything between us has the potential to interfere with what i think is a pretty fucking awsome working relationship...but...i dunno...
i really like her..
and sometimes i find myself thinking...that if given the chance...i would curb my wicked ways and let her make an honest woman out of me.

earlier on, when i went to her house and knocked on her door..she reminded me that i had my own key and am always welcome to just let myself in...which really makes me think...because that's not something that you say to just anybody...
anyway..
i am going to stay there tonite...after work...and i think it's about time that i sussed her out and asked her out right..
because i have learnt lately that life is too short to just go along not knowing...

wish me luck people..



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