yesterday when i left melbourne..i was so angry that i just wanted to go out and kick the life out of something...
but i didn't..
instead, i just got in my car..and drove to melbourne...in a rage...in the rain...and i don't remember any of the trip.

when i got here (to melbourne)...i went to visit an old friend of mine. actually..she's a bit more than an old friend..she's the first grrl that i ever told i loved. long before elly, and my silly sexcapades..and all that..there was her.
we've never been in a relationship though...we were always that close..but never close enough.
anyway...yesterday we caught up for the first time in over a year..we had coffee..and i drove her from the city to her house..she's a young lawyer..got a new house..new car..she's absolutely adorable (always has been)..but...and i hate admitting this..but i just couldn't get past the fact that she wasn't my grrl..

so on my way back to alison's from this person's house..i thought of the grrl..and how angry i had been with her throughout the day...so i sms'd her...it was nice..but she pissed me off..so i got nasty (again)...and we bounced awful hateful words back and forth...but in the end, i knew that i could not in good faith leave melbourne for sydney still feeling so angry towards the grrl...so i told her i was coming over to visit her...and i ended up spending the night.

we talked..we laughed...we cried some...and then we got in to bed and she held me for a good part of the night...fuck it felt so good..but..i dunno...
this morning...before leaving for work...she came into the bedroom and kissed me..and again on the way out the dor...i got up to hug her, and she grabbed me up and kissed me on the head. again..it felt nice..
i dunno though...dunno what's going to happen...
so i sms'd her this morning and told her that perhaps we should just stop fighting and see what happens with us...because, really, i dont want to plan anything.

anyway..

i should go pack for sydney and stuff...
gotta find my umbrella, cuz im thinking with all the rain that's been happening up and down the east coast, we're going to drown on our trip back home without one *laughs*..turns out, that this morning flash flooding struck melbourne...eek..parts of the city were under water in under 3 minutes..
cool, eh??



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