*mental note to self*
...checking email from bed rocks...

heh..

so this morning's horoscope really hit home..
"Today is a powerful day for you, dear Aquarius. Your emotions may be stubborn, but realize the very thing you are resisting is the very thing you need the most. Consider making a major change in your life that will help bring about a healthier balance between you and the people you associate with. It may be time for a whole new outlook on how you deal with your relationships."..
*sigh*
because i am definately feeing that things between samantha and myself aren't at their greatest..
is it just the stress of the silly season?
the stress of work??
or simply that we're growing..*apart*..

we fought recently...said some bloody horribly things...awful things intended to do nothing more than scar and wound...we both said things...this is not an entry about "fuck sam is a bitch"..but rather, we are both bitches...
both stubborn..
and both in neeed of a good kick up the ass...

so yeah..

i have been dreaming a lot about my ex lately...a little too much, in fact...weird dreams...weird we're-still-in-a-relationship-and-very-much-in-love dreams...and they're freaking me out, because i don't really have such feelings during my waking hours...i mean...i love her...she's one of my nearest and dearest friends...but i don't pine for her...my heart isn't swollen for her - at least not in the way it feels during these dreams..
maybe it's just cuz of the whole thing with renee is playing on my mind...or maybe cuz 'm not feeling so stable with sam...either way, i really would like someone else to dream about *L* cuz i'm not in the habit of dreamin about other people's girls..
sure...dreamin about nekkid sex-sammiches with the crrs sisters is one thing...but sleepy having head-sex with mates (partnered mates at that) is something totally different..
anywho..

so i'm heading off to kater's work today so that she can fix my new toy...well not fix it, but set it all how how i like my puters to be.

anyway, the cleaner is here so i'm being kicked out of my room...grrrrr...

0 comment so far..