i'm so fucking confused at the moment...it's just all insane, and i can not wait to go to sydney..i just wanna get out of town...go away...go where no one knows me, or has any preconcieved ideas of me...i want to be able to do whatever i want, without fear of consequence or guilt...i just want time for me to sort out my own shit.

on the weekend, when sam ended it, she obviously felt that she was doing the right thing for both of us...afterall, i thought it was the right thing. not because i wanted to be single, or i'm in love with someone else, or coz i want to fuck around...but because it felt (and had felt for a while) as if we were holding each other back...we were both craving so much that neither of us could seem to give the other...it's not like i thought we needed to be totally 100% out of each others lives, but i did feel that it was a good idea for us to end it where we did. because here, at this point, there was no resentment, no animosity, nothing but a very strong friendship, sense of loyalty and love..
just not the kind of love that we used to have..

now she's sad...she's sad because she wants to go back, and i don't think we can...
and now i'm sad..because i'm hurting someone that i would never ever mean to hurt...

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