ok, so far i've gone through half a box of my mothers very expensive (but very ikky) cherry liquer chocolates, i'm listening to poxy love songs, and i have a tightness in my chest that can only be described as love sick...
where of where in the fuck did the grrl and i go so wrong as to have to endure a day like today??
yeah ok, so i've bitched and moaned and whinged about "how hard it all is" and about how "i'm gonna be strong and stand up for me"...but who in the fuck am i trying to kid? i'd probably last about 5minutes without samantha in my life, and i know it..*sighing*..

i called her before..i wasn't going to..i told myself i was going to be a stubborn cranky little fucker and not call her until she apologised, but i couldn't..i really had to call her - even if it meant just sitting on the other end of a phone and listening to her breathe..today has been such a long day, and i've gone through an whole spectrum of emotions and my head is hurting like you wouldn't believe..

i don't know why sam and i fight..i really don't..i mean, all this aside, everything between her and i really is great..when we're at home together, we have the most wonderful time...it really is amazing - like i've never ever known before *smiling*
sure, lately things have been a little more stressed and tense than they've ever been, but i really do believe that's just because her and i are going through our own shit at the moment, but i do believe that'll pass.
one thing that i did learn from today was that neither of us really wants to be without the other...at least not in this life time



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