i set my alarm to go off at 5 so that i could get up and put my washing in the dryer and have it alll nice and warm and dry before my mm gets up [other wise she makes me hang it out manually - and letmetellyou, i was not in the mood to go out and hang 50pairs of lycra undies on the line!]...so yeah...i got up and did my laundry, and then i had the dilemma that i couldn't get back to sleep again.
i had a bit of an early nite last nite, too...so that's prolly another reason why i can't sleep. sam and i have had a niggly few days, too..and last nite after a few too many snooty SMS's she called me and i hung up on her. i love her, i swear to god i love her more than anyone i've ever loved, but sometimes i just get so sick of being spoken to like trash. granted, she doesn't do it very often, but last nite (after yesterday and the SMSs) i just had enough. so *click* i just h u n g u p on her. i probably shouldn't have...coz now she's most likely going to be even snootier with me. i know she misses me and wants to see me, but this week (for the first time since we began our relationship) i've just been really caught up with mum and my family, and on the weekend (well, today and saturday) i am going to help kater move. i think that sam wanted me to change my plans so that i could go to melbourne and be with her earlier, but as much as i have loved to have done that, i just had other things to do.
today she said to me
"at the moment its as if you are leading your life and i am leading ming..when we are supposed to be living one together" but it's just really hard when i'm up here and she's down there. sure i miss her.
sure i think of her 1,000,000 times a day.
sure i would much rather be with her.
but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right?.
sometimes (and not very often, i might add) i put my family before anything else..hell, in my previous relationships my family had always come first, and if i had to run back to melbourne (where they used to live) to be with them for weeks at a time, then i did. this is the first time in my life i've ever ran from my family to be with a girl. it's not because i have to, but because i want to. i would love nothing more than to live in a cosy little love-bubble with no one else but sam, but in reality it just doesn't happen like that.
anyway..i'm over this so i'm going back to bed to get some more shut-eye before the sun comes up...
*yawn
jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble