i'm really looking forward to seeing sam tonite. jesus, anyone would think that we've been aaprt for weeks, when actually it's only been since about 7:45 monday morning. sometimes i think i'm a bit pathetic for missing her so much, but then i think "nah..this is normal how it should be". i dunno why i miss her so much, tho..i just do. luckily it's never a case of "oh-how-i-miss-her-so-much-i-don't-think-i-can-function-properly", it's just "damn i hate not having her near". i've been thinking a lot tihs morning [i do that on train rides] and i've come to the conclusion that i've been silly these last 2 days thinking bad stuff about sam and i. i don't know why i get so paranoid about our relationship, afterall, things are great and have probably never been better. but i guess it's been a while since i've felt this great and happy and complete, that i don't really know what to think other than the worse.
i know that really doesn't make any sense..but it's an excuse that i'm going to use to defend my irrationality *shrugs*
so yeah, i'm going to go home tomorrow morning and get all the things out of the way that i've been procrastinating about for months. i need to finish sorting through the shit in my room...take my mother shopping...and get my stuff from linda's. some of the stuff i'll leave there until kater moves [coz she'll be using it], but i'll take all my paperwork, school stuff, books and clothes home. there is just so much shit there that i'm really not looking forward to doing this *sigh*. i wouldn't mind hiring one of those skip things and just ripping everything up and throwing it all out - coz i know most of the stuff that's ther i'm really not going to want to keep for any reason other than i am a hoarder. god, you should have seen the shit that i found in my wardrobe, alone. and half of these boxes that are at linnies have been boxed up since i lived with elly, and they've just been moved from house to house to house to house over the last 6 years.
i found alot of poetry and ramblings and stuff that i wrote years ago, and i came to the conclusion that i am definately a more functional and sane person than i was back then. actually, to put it nicely, i was downright bizarre. some of the stuff i wanted to tear up and burn, but then i thought if i kept it, i could always look back on it in years to come and have a laugh about how truely weird i was. i'm also thinking, that if i find enough time [like the 4 months off uni i've already had hasn't been enough!] i can collect all of my scraps, notebooks, scrawled napkin poems and type them up and upload them somewhere on the 'net. that way, no matter where i am or what's happening in my life, i'll always be able to find this stuff.
anyway..my 30minute block here is almost ip. i was going to stay for an entire hour, but i thought that would be pretty sad. besides, i wanna go up to gaslight records and look for some fruit cd's and stuff...
-dannii
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jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble