why-o-why can't the people in this house just let me sleep in!!?? as if it's not bad enough having to listen to pog scream his guts out at the crack of dawn, i have to deal with mum barging into my room and flicking the lights on and off asking "you awake yet???"
Am i aWaKE YeT??!!??
let's see...i was just in lala land dreaming of my woman - OF COURSE I WASN'T AWAKE YET!
GOD DAMN i wish they'd just let me wake up when my internal clock wants me to wake up *grumbling*

so i had a goood sleep last nite considering...it was a weird nite...after sam and i got off line, i went to bed and she started SMS'ing me...
"i love you lots but i'm not sure if i make you happy more than i make you sad"
"uh oh.." i thought to myself..."here it is...the beginning of the end"
so i replied telling her not to give up on me, or give in on us..
"i'm not giving up on us..i just need some time go get through stuff"
*phew*

from past experience, my translation of "i just need time" is "i don't want to be with you anymore", but i don't think that this is what sam means.

she has some stuff in her head that she needs to sort through. nothing evil or horrid, just stuff. hell, we all have stuff..some bad...some down-right vile...and hopefully she'll let me help her through it. i was so scared last nite that our chat and our messages were the beginning of something bad [even though she assured me that they weren't]. i guess it's just in my nature to think the worst about relationships when things get a little rocky. but now i know that that is something that i definately have to unlearn.
sam and i are 2 totally opposite people...so different infact, i'm amazed that we ever got our shit together at all, let alone managed to fall in love. she's so intense and passionate...and i'm so laid back and aloof. she puts %200 into everything she does, and sometimes i just can't even be bothered doing anything..but i love our differences. i love that my girl and i are on two opposite ends of the spectrum. i love that everything about her is wonderously new and i learn something different each day i spend with her.
i know that both sam and i are far from perfect..but to me she is all that i want. i've never known anyone like her...and i've certainly never known what it's like to love anyone like her.
i used to be friends with 2 of her ex's, and both of them were so in love with her that it almsot verged on pathetic. i used to sit and wonder "what is so amazingly special about this chick?", and then i met her and fell in love with her and now i know. i wouldn't say that i'm pathetic [well at least not yet, anyway] - but i see very clearly why my friends had such a hard time getting over sammie.

anyway...i'm all crusty and smelly and i need a shower.

blah!

-dannii

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