it's been 12 hours since sam dropped me of at clayton station and already i'm missing her like you wouldn't believe...how on earth am i going to manage 4 more days without seeing her. we decided to spend most of this week apart to visit our families and stuff, and sam's gonna come back up here on friday after work for the rainbow room weekend...but that's still 4 whole days away - and i have no idea how i'm going to manage.
god i must sound so pathetic
but i don't really give a rats..
there's a line in the movie "deep blue sea" where LLcoolJ says something like "..time is relative..seconds with your hand on a hot plate can feel like hours..but hours with your hands on a hot woman can feel like seconds..".. and it's so true. time apart from sam drags on sooooooo sloooooowly...but all the time we spend together seems to just whizz by. i so didn't wanna get out of bed together...i didn't want her to go to work. i just wanted to lay there all day and stare at her...she's so fucking gorgeous *missing her even more now* [although she tells me i am supposed to think that cuz i'm biased]
but yeh...
saturday nite sam and i had a bit of a fight.
ok, so it was less of a *bit*, and more like a *DOOZY*!...it was so awful and horrid and scary..and i really thought "...fuck dannii...brace yourself..this is the end..."..i went in to our bedroom and i cried and cried and cried...and i felt all of those horrible, awful, heartbreaking feelings that i never ever thought that i'd feel again. and after about an hour of me crying and sam crying [in separate rooms, of course], i gave in and went to her and we sorted it out..we talked..and cried..and snotted on each other - and it was really beautiful in that weird, sadistic, kind of pathetic way..but i knew then that i just couldn't be without having this woman in my life. i love sam..and i've loved her for a while now..but i've never really been faced with the thought of losing her. and i've gotta admit - it frightened the fuck out of me. so i went to her..and i hugged her and held her so hard that i thought my arms were gonna break - lucky she was drunk or she would have felt how hard i had a hold of her...
it was such an awful fight..but it was so unnecessary - i said something..sam misinterpreted it..and kAbBoOoOmMM all hell broke loose...i'm so glad we sorted it out tho - or that we at least got through the tears and made up.
10:32p.m.
yesterday was the midsumma carnival day...it was a good day, but we weren't there for very long. kater and sam had some special chocolate mud cake and we're more interested in just sitting around and chillin while all i wanted to do was wander around and look at everything. i didn't mind sitting tho - means i got to spend more time with sam. we somehow managed to find LeeLee, Bec and all of the other GGLN girls in amongst the thousands of queers there...and it was good to catch up. since i've pretty much spent the last 2 months in melbourne with sam, i haven't really seen many of the girls..
anyway...i started writing this over an hour ago, and i'm wrecked..it's been a long few days.
-dannii
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jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble