mmmmmm.....computers are troublesome things..especially where the internet is concerned.

sure, i have definately had my fair share of fun online - chatting....flirting...cybering...emailing. but they've also gotten me into my fair share of sticky situations.

in fact, it was partly due to the internet that i realized i was queer. back in 1996 i met this chick online, and we chated for months before i finally flew my ass 3/4 around the world to meet her...and it was chatting on the internet one night that i told a friend of mine i was in love with this other chick, who snuck a peek at my ICQ history and read every loving word that i'd written about her.

and it was again this morning that the internet (well...actually my history - or my lack of deleting it) caused me a bit more grief.

let's take this online journal of mine as an example. i started this thing almost 3 months ago as a way to vent, and let these things in my head out...i don't really know who's out there reading it, and to be honest, i don't particularly care. i don't know if kate or simone or sam or anyone even knows it exists - coz if they do, they certainly haven't said anything to me about it. and even if they did it still wouldn't stop me writing.
coz these are my thoughts and my feelings...no one else has to understand them or even respect them ~ all i care about is people accept that this journal is my therapeutic outlet. what i write in here might not necessarily be *exactly* how things are...but they're how they seem to me at the time.
see - i even put in a disclaimer
"this journal contains the uncensored thoughts and feelings of me.if you know me in any way, there is the chance that you will appear somewhere in amongst these ramblings. there is a chance that i will write something about you that you don't like. there is a chance i will write someone about someone else you don't like. if you so much as think you might take these things to heart rather than viewing them as the momentary mental outbursts"
just so people would know that just cuz i said something 5 minutes ago, doesn't mean i mean it now.

but yeh....i guess what all this is about is that someone close to me found this journal..i was using her computer to make an entry, and i forgot to delete my history. it wasn't done maliciously or purposfully...i just damn forgot about it. it's been a long time since i've had to worry about covering my tracks and deleting histories...

but, in my defense...everything that is in here is how i feel...but it's not to say that i'm going to feel the exact same way in the next 10 minutes. if i've learnt anything about myself over the last few months it's that my feelings are a bit like the melbourne weather - constantly changing...

~dannii

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