as of today, i officially have no more classes! *yay*..but it's not all honkey-dorey just yet - i still have about weeks worth of clinicals, 3 assignments, 2 OSCA's (ongoing student clinical assessments), a science lab, and 4 exams to get through before i can settle down and relax.

as soon as i finished my nursing lab today, i went into morwell, jumped on a train and headed for melbourne to go and meet kater.

yup..i sat on a train for 2 hours just to jump on the next train and head right back here... well, kater did come back with me so it's not like it was a total waste of 5 hours [that i could have spent on my 3 assignments *L*]. i spoke to kater this morning and she was adament that she wasn't going to come to the rainbow room..*sigh* if you guys knew me, then you would all understand how bad a thing this is. i mean, i could deal with linda leaving me...i could deal with the flattening of the world trade towers, but what i could not deal with is kater not being there at a rainbow room.. even though kate and i spend most of the nite in different corners, it's just great knowing that she is there..not only that, but if she wasn't there then who would write about all the silly shit that i get up to when i am spastic and parayleticly drunk?

but yeh...i have been chatting online with this little dyke from brisbane lately...i haven't been into chatting since about 5 years ago, and it's kinda weird to actually be getting online at all kinds of hours, and waiting up all nite to chat..i am quite enjoying it.

i have pretty much been anti-online relationships since my US fling back in 1996, but i think i could quite easily make an exception for this girl. nothing serious [a*hem...she live almost 1,000km's away], but i think it would be fun. it feels a bit weird tho...not just coz of my anti-net thing, but because of ange and leanne and my current inability to commit. i mean, i like ange...i really do..and in a perfect world, things might have been different..but right now my world is far from perfect.

and right now i don't think i could do the relationship thing. actually, right now i know that i couldn't do the relationship thing. at least not with anyone that expected anything of me [d'oh..i know that's what a relationship is].

i mean..i would like to have a special someone in my life..i really would...but not someone who wants me clip my wings and make me settle down. i want to be free and have fun. i know i could do that with a partner - the unfortunate thing is, it's going to be very hard to find a partner like that *sigh*. i don't want someone who's ging to try and make me exclusively "theirs"...don't get me wrong, i don't want to fuck around..but i want to be able to play and flirt and have fun....i want a partner that isn't going to get jealous if i stick my tongue in someone else's ear...i want someone who isn't going to always want me around [or who wants to constantly be around me]..i want someone who will understand that i have a life, and that it doesn't necessarily revolve around them. i also want someone who wll respect my friendship with kater and not be constantly worried that i am fucking her behind their back..

you know, for someone who preaches that she "doesn't want a relationship" i am doing a pretty good job, aren't i? *L*

~dannii

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