dear you

i know that at times i am impossible and hard to deal with. and i can be moody, tempramental and schitzophrenic. and i rant and rave and assume the worst. and i push you and pull you in all directoins and make you feel like shit

but i'm going through something right now, and have been for the last few weeks and i honestly don't know what to do about it.
but what i do know, is that i need my space.
not physically, because i honestly hate physically being more than 3feet away from you. but mentally.
times like this (and there aren't all that many) i tend to retreat back into my head, and enjoy the familiarity and silence.
it's my own private therapy..

i know that this is hard for you to accept and understand right now, but it's really what i need.
please don't think that i dont want to be near you and i think it's better if i stay away. because it's not. because the distance makes it worse. it always makes it worse. i love you and i love being near you, but i can't open up and share this with you right now.
i know you want to help me. you want to love and support me. and you want to share my burden - but the honest-to-god truth is you cant. and i know that hurts you.
it hurts me too.

but at the moment, pushing for explanations and answers is hurting me.
it hurts me to have to yell and scream at you to make you go away. to keep you outta my headspace. and i know that hurts you, too.
and while i know that you dont understand it, i really hope you can accept and respect that right now what i really need is for you to just leave me be with my thoughts.

i don't want you to leave me alltogether. because i know you and i know how you'll think that. i just please want you to keep out of my head.
for the moment, anyway..

i promise you this will pass.
it always does..

i love you
know that..

dannii


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