so i just spent the last hour doing a chore that i have been avioding doing since august - archiving my old diary entries..
aye carumba it's always such a bloody hassle..and it's a pity that the powers that be at diaryland dont create some program that just automatically does it for us *hint hint*..but it's done..over and done with for another 6-or-so months..

i was reading back through some old entries (as i always do) from this time last year and the year before and the year before that..and boy it never ceases to amaze me how much my life has changed. in the course of the last 365 days - so much has happened..so much has changed...i've come so far...and while there are certain things (and people) that i miss - i know i am better off here..i know that 2004 ws a good year for me and looking back, i'm kinda sad to see it end. only a few days ago i couldn't wait for 2004 to be over and done with, but now i know it really wasn't all that bad. and i can only hope that 2005 will be just as good and constructive..

tonight, while archiving my entries, i had thought about deleting everything and starting fresh. afterall, this entire place is so fill with sam and i - good and bad..tears and laughter..and i felt that to start a fresh i should leave it all in the past. but of course, some things i am not ready to delete...my history with that grrl is so long and twisted..and good or bad it's always going to be there...and whether it's words on a computer screen or tucked away in my heart - my thoughts and feelings will always be the same. she was the love of my young life. there's no denying that.

anyway..
i feel much stronger at the moment than i did last year or the year before or year before that.
and all i can say is that's gotta be a good thing.

so here's to 2005..



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