i love my job...lord knows i do...but sometimes there are days where i definately do not get paid enough to do what it is i do..

and today was one of them..

my shift tonight started with the handover from hell.
in between listening to the other staff give their little spiels about patients, there was the
blood-curdling screams and gut-wrenching spews from the man in resus 1 who believed he had a direct line to god...not to mention the continual hacking up of his lungs and spitting remnants of them all over the floor *gagging*
don't even get me started on his penis *rolls eyes*...apparently god wants us all to be stripped bare..so he decided to take of his pj pants and mop up the spit on the floor with them *shudders*

and then there was the lovely little (but extremely smelly) lady in cubicle one who could
have easily grown mushrooms in the a-grade fertilizer between her toes. i took her shoes off because she wanted me to inspect the sandfly bites on her feet, and i almost passed right out from the stench. and if that wasn't enough, when i helped her get into a hospital gown so that i could do an ECG, i noticed she had thrush (or something equally as crunchy and delightful) all the way up to her boobies. and i had to do an ECG on this woman...eiew..can you imagine how hard it is to do an ECG on a 70+ woman and NOT have to touch her boobies *shudders*
it was gross...truely.
i had to think up the most pleasant thoughts i could muster just so i wouldn't spew on
her...it was awful.
but i survived..
she was lovely though..truely...a funny little old farmer woman...complete with 1956 farmer-wife attire..

then earlier on tonight...just as things began to settle down, and ambulance rocked up with an old guy who had had a respiratory arrest. i offered to man the triage desk because i really didn't want to take part, but one of the clinical specialists insisted that i glove up and learn..because really, it's not every day that someone dies in our ED...
so i did..i gloved up and the ambo's rolled in this old guy who was cold and blue.

although he had a pulse, there was no blood pressure and he wasn't breathing...i had no idea what they expected us to do..but because the family hadn't signed a "not for resuscitation" order we had to begin CPR...and we did. at first i was scribe...just hiding in the background, steering clear of the action (and the dead guy)..but then the clinical specialist told me to glove up and start compressions...i freaked out.
but it was either that or attempt to get a line in...so i opted to pound on his chest. sure i've done my CPR training and i've practiced hundreds of times on a dummy..but this was different...this was a real person...with flesh..and bones...and each time i compressed i felt that "crunch" that instructors had always told us about in CPR lessons...and his face..
i dont think i'll ever forget his face..he looked a little bit like my father..with big blue eyes and reddish hair..and he was staring at me...the coldest, hardest stare i have ever seen. at one stage, i started crying and a tear rolled off my cheek..i was kinda embarassed but the ambo (who was maintaining the airway) thought it was sweat and suggested we swap so that he could do compressions and i could maintain the airway...so we did..and that was kinda worse...because i could see the old guys eyes...he was just staring at us all, and every now and then he would wink.
it was creepy..

to cut a very long story short, after about an hour the old guy maintained a pulse and started breathing spontaneously...so we ventilated him and sent him up to critical care.
where i'm sure his family will spend the night keeping vigil at his bedside..it's all so sad.

on my way home tonight i was questioned why i ever entered into nursing in the first place...

then i think about that old guy...and his family...and the smile on his wife's face when he clenched her hand..man, it was amazing...i stood there and cried...again...
as hard as nights like tonight are, it's moments like that that that make it kinda worthwhile..i felt like i did good..

and after thinking about that look on her face..i remembered exactly why it was i became a nurse..




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