just on two weeks ago i was writing about how i was going to take a leap and tell her that i'm attracted to her...and now...here i am...wrapped up in her bed...waiting for her to come home so we can have ourselves some more kinky-ass money sex *laughs*..

actually..i shouldn't sexualize it so much..because...really...there's more to it and us and her than sex..she's such an amazing woman...and i adore her as a person and respect her as a colleague...and it's so nice to have someone like her in my life...someone to laugh with (and at)...someone to take out to dinner or a movie...someone to converse and communicate with...someone that listens to what i have to say...someone that knows ice cream makes me sick so instead buys frozen yoghurt...someone just like her.
i'm still scared shitless at the thought of a potential relationship, though..because i like where we are and what we have and it's not clouded by all the crap that sometimes comes with admitting that one is actually in a relationship..

i think my greatest problem is i over analyze things like this too much.
i'm so happy with where things are at...but i make myself crazy worrying about what will happen if and when things change.

i haven't really spoken to her about my feelings...other than making it quite clear that, even though this is casual, i am still a one woman grrl..
because..
really..
i have everything i like in a chick right here...so why would i even need to go out and try to find more?
what's that silly saying about why eat steak when you have the cow at home?
well..she's not a cow..but i'm sure y'all get my drift.
last night i came in from what was a fairly hectic day at work..and she was busily cooking my dinner..it was gorgeous...and to top it off, she told me she'd bought me frozen yoghurt because she knows that ice cream makes me sick...and that was such a sweet and considerate thought...and it just goes to show that she does think about me and what i do and do not like. and i'm really enjoying that..
normally i'm the one going out of my way to make the other person happy...but here...regardless of what kind of relationship we have - it's so amazingly equal..and that feels really good.

anyway...i have my first night shift in critical care tonite so i need to go get a few more hours sleep before she gets home (and before i head off to work)...


0 comment so far..