so much has happened..so little time in which to write about it..
hmmm
so i will just start from wednesday and work my way up to today (for those of you that are interested)...

so wednesday i headed off to melbourne for the sarah mclachlan concert (which wasn't actually until thursday night)...i had some stuff to do in town, so i figured i'd go down early and catch up with some people..
sam was one of those people..
i hadn't planned on visiting her..but..after driving through boronia on my way to see alison and rachel, i figured that i needed to go and bite the bullet and get it over and done with...because...i needed to see if she really did hate me..and if she really would slam the door in my face.
she didn't..
and i'm glad for that.
there isn't much to write..other than now i truely know i can be in her presence and not go weak at the knees...that i could sit within 2 feet of her and not turn into a blubbering mess that wants nothing more than to hold her and kiss her and love her. because..amazingly..while sitting there and looking at her..listening to her...i wanted none of those things.
i just wanted to know that she was alright..and she was..and now..thankfully...i no longer have that overwhelming urge to contact her and check up on her.
she is ok..
i can let go and move on.
that night..after visiting her..i dreamt of her..and of sleeping with her..and unlike all of my other dreams about sam, i was disgusted afterwards - not disgusted in the actual act, but rather, disgusted that i would take so many steps back after coming so far forward.
so there you have it..
i saw her..and i made it out alive..
*smiling*..

now...on to much better things...
thursday night was the sarah concert...and i have one word to describe it...
OHMYFUCKINGGODSHEWASAWSOME
yes indeedy..it was a truely magical night...if only i had have had someone special there with me to curl up around and share it with. then it would have been complete.

now..just back to the sam thing for a few minutes...cuz it's kinda relevant here...cuz...i do have to say...that seeing her again, and knowing that i do not want to go back there, is allowing me to move forward in some ways that i had been concerned that i wouldn't be able to (does that make sense??)..
i have really needed closure with sam to be able to allow myself to get close again...because...just between us...the whole sam thing kinda fucked me up *laughs*...but now i'm all good again...and it's awsome.

so we went down to wilsons promontory on friday night and spent a lovely evening wrapped around each other in a gorgeous little B&B down in port albert...it was amazing..truely amazing...and such a shame it was just for one night. i had to work the followng day, which was a bit of a bitch cuz i really could have used an extra day to recover..but..nevermind..
so last night i came home from work and walked into a scene right out of a romance novel...scented candles...ice cold glass of bailey's... bowl full of my favourite chocolates...and an extremely hot chick in some spunky lingere just laying there...waiting for me..*grins*..heh..it's funny how quickly romance can turn straight to porn...
..really..i could get used to this.
very used to it..

but more later...





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