i called her today...from work...to arrange going over to her house to collect the last of my things..and it was fucked..

it's been a while since i've heard her voice..and when she answered, i could hardly speak. i dunno..but there's always been something about that voice that had made me melt...and today...it did make me melt...but not quite like how it used to. it made me melt from a semi-functioning human being, into a great, ig, pile of...crap..
i dunno why..but talking to her for all of 3minutes took almost every ounce of energy i had..and for the rest of my day at work, i was this numb-minded..pile of crap..
i couldn't think..or even communicate properly..and it's funny...but looking back on that entire time..i can not remember one single think i was thinking about..
really..
it was fucked..

so just before..she came on to msn...and we started chatting...and it was nice. i didn't melt (obviously cuz there was no voice to hear)..and ou conversation started out ok...and stayed ok for a little while...but as soon as i said "dont worry i do not want you back"..she went fucking schitzo on me..really...*shaking my head*..i do not understand that grrl...even if i managed to live for 100 years...i dont think i would ever manage to understand even 1% of anything she does or says..

so..needless to say...as soon as she got offline i emailed her...about how she reminds me of a 3year old having a tantrum cuz they couldn't get their own way...and how now i wouldn't be surprised if she didn't let me come get my stuff because that is the last little piece of control she has over me (or so she likes to think)..and who knows...maybe she will let me get my stuff...maybe she won't...but whatever the case...i dont really care because my sanity is more important than a box of crap that obviously dont need very much if i dont even know what is in it..

but yeah...that's my vent...

that grrl is seriously troubled...and i pity the poor sap that ends up with her..



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