i think it was saint jerome who said that the friendship that can cease has never been real...and i think that maybe he had a point...

friends are amazingly fickle things...

take my circle of friends in morwell...the 8-or-so crazy dykes that i've written about in here countless times...

there's linnie and nene, kater and ant, ren and joh..even trish is back on the scene...
sure..if you didn't really look too closely at us all, it'd seem as if we all get along bloody fantastically without ever having to try...
but then if you knew some of our history, and if you took a closer look you'd see that...well..you'd see that we've all yelled, slapped, screamed, cried, fought, lied, and even threatened to kill (ok, so maybe i'm the only one who'se gone that far)...but i really believe that if we weren't comfortable with each other as people, then maybe we wouldn't be able to act like the complete and utter fucking idiots that we sometimes act like...we laugh and cry and fart and burp..

i guess the whole point of this entry is last weekend's rainbow room, and how the events of the night kinda shook the foundations of what i once thought was a pretty tight-knit bunch of people.
sure, we may not all be the best of friends....but between us all there's some fantastic friendships, and we're inextricably connected in one way or another..
linnie and i are ex's...ren and linnie are best mates...ren and i used to hate each other...i think of kater as my best mate...sam and i are partners...ren and sam are ex's...joh and ren are partners...sam and joh can't stand each other...and on and on it goes...
but enough of the history - back to the rainbow room..

basically, linnie and ren had a fight...because ren doesn't like janine, and no one really likes how ren treats janine. there's kinda more to it than that, but for this entry i figured i'd keep it simple..
anyway..
for months leading up to this rainbow room janine and i had spoken about renee...and linda's friendship with renee, and how renee sometimes behaves when linnie's around...and although lin and ren had previously had words, on saturday nite it all kinda blew up...

and linnie and ren fought...and linnie told us all we could fuck off...and her and nene stormed out...and ren stormed off...and joh and i went to play peacekeepers...and basically all the others just sat there kinda bewildered...

i'd known for a long time that something like this was going to happen...but there are some things that you just can't give warning for - mostly because people will just tell you to shut up because you're thinking crazy thoughts...
but i'd always felt that one day things between linda and ren would get heated..
i feel bad, because i should have told linda that i felt this coming...that i'd had bad feelings and crazy dreams...but i didn't, and now 2 pretty good mates won't even look at each other - let alone make peace..

it's kinda weird..because it's hard for me to stay unbiased...i mean...ren and i get along fabulously now that a few thousand litres of water has passed under the bridge...and i just adore linnie...but part of me wants to smack both of their heads together..

i know this isn't about me..
it's about lin and ren..
and janine..
but there was a time, no tooo long ago, where i knew exactly how it is that janine feels now...because i was there..and i thought that renee was the bigges manipulating cunt on the planet...and i just wanted linda to have nothing to do with her...but then renee and i had our words...and linda and i broke up...and for the last 2 years everything with renee and i has been pretty smooth (except for me getting with sam - i think that may have caused a few teeny weeny ripples)...

but now, now i can't help but think that all of this bullshit coulde been avoided...that all of the name-calling and story telling was uncalled for...and now, as a consequence, friends are going to suffer...

honestly, there was a time where i wanted nothing more than for linda to finally see what renee wasn't anywhere near as innocent or perfect as she'd have linda believe..that she was sneaky and caused trouble at times...
but now, i just want those two to get past there differences...because, at the end of the day - they're 2 pretty fucking wonderful friends...and it'd be a shame for either of them to lose the other...

anyway...i'm just venting...i think i have a bit of unresolved hurt bottled up and what went on at the rainbow room let a some of it escape...

just remember guys - the loudest silences are the ones full of everything that's already been said...



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