i ripped up every card i've ever given her...

all my words and thoughts are in a pile of paper pieces on our kitchen her kitchen bench..

i should not have done it...i regret doing it.
i was angry, hurting, and rash..

i have been staring at them, thinking of taping them all back together, but she wouldn't want them anyway, so it would be a waste of time and tape..

i shouldn't have done it, though..

i would have slapped her had she ripped up the cards she'd given me..

i also ripped up this thing i made her for our first valentines day together..

i shouldn't have done that. if anything, i should have just kept it for myself to remember how much i loved her, and how wonderful she made me feel..
because as the seconds pass, i have doubts that i will ever be made to feel like that again...

i think i will be back in a few days...

and to that certain someone who is thinking of me, thanks *smiling* and a happy belated birthday to you..



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