i'd like to think that my posts used to be interesting...maybe even entertaining...but all i ever seeem to do these days is bitch, whinge and moan...
well fuck that..

but
well
maybe just one more rant until i convert..

so today pog went into hospital and had his teeth removed...and all things considered, everything went well..the grrl even came along and waited it out at the hospital, which i was soooo pleased about...but after lunch, i was getting bored of the hospital and all i wanted to do was go into the city...hang out...relax...maybe go to the national gallery to see the ned kelly thing..maybebut we'd been out of the hospital and in the car for about 30 seconds when she made it pretty clear that she had no intentions of going anywhere but home...
"what do you wanna do? where do you wanna go?" she asked..
"into the city" (which was like 800metres away), i replied.
"i'm not going into the fucking city" she responded..."lets go keep smellison company"..
and while i'm always up for harassing the tart and keeping her company, i really thought that today we could actually do something..

it's been 9 days since we've been on holidays together...and we haven't done a fucking thing...and i'm so goddamned BORED!..

all i've wanted to do for the last god-only-knows how many months is go to the fucking zoo...and for some reason i can't ever seem to make it there..
so today...sometime after noon i had my own silent little tantrum, and haqve hardly spoken to her since...

why do we always do what she wants to do??? she wants to go here...we do...she wants to do that....we do...
i wanna go stare at some fucking skanky stinky animals for an hour or two, and after how ever many months i'm still waiting..

"why don't i just tell her i wanna go to the zoo", you ask..well..i've dropped enough hints...but today i felt i shouldn't have to stomp my feet like a 4-year-old and cry "i wanna go to the fucking zoo"...
i didn't wanna go to smellison and rach's for 6 hours...i didn't wanna waste 6 hours of assignment writing time sitting up there and having the grrl and i ignore each other..
no..
today would have been perfect had i made it to the zoo, the museum or the state library, and then came home and worked on my assignment...

but instead, i've had the sooks all day and spent way too many hours in the same room as someone i can't even be bothered talking to at the moment..

is it normal to feel no desire what-so-ever to talk to your partner???
coz really...at the moment, i dont even wanna be here..

yeah i know i'm a sook..
sometimes i'm such a fucking 4 year old..
but i tried 3 times today to talk to her, and each time she either shot me down or patronized me in front of the others, and then went back to ignoring me...
*shrugs*...

sometimes i feel like i just can't be bothered anymore...with this relationship...because it truely is too much effort...i mean, how fucking hard is it to spend time with ur partner and enjoy it???
sure it's not all bad and evil...in fact, we have some fucking wonderful times together...but usually after a fight...usually when one of us has had the sads and pointed out all the things that we dislike about the other, so the other changes things for a few days and all is well..

sometimes....
sometimes i think the grrl feels the same way, too...
sure...we love each other...but at the end of the day, love is just a word and actions mean a whole fucking lot...

maybe i'm just frustrated...

maybe i'm premenstrual...
maybe i just expect too fucking much...

but really...sometimes i want my girl to take me out and do something nice for me...

i don't want too much...just a nice day out of the house...something to do....something to look back on and say "remember when"??

but mostly...i really just wanna get outta this fucking house and do something...



fuck i sound bi-polar...



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