i came home to the grrl last nite, after what was just too much time apart. although i was only up at mum's for 3 nights, it just seemed like forever.
she picked me up from dandenong station like she always does, and we went shopping and cooked and had a lovely dinenr together, and then at about 9pm idiot mode kicked in and i started acting like a complete and utter little cunt..she was in the lounge playing computer games so i went to bed with the shits and read my book...and when she finally did come to bed, i was an even more arrogant little cunt and we ended up fighting..then she started crying...then i started crying..but thanksfully the tears made it all good.

i don't know why i'm such a little asshole to her sometimes.. especially when she doesn't deserve it. sometimes the idiot in me thinks that if i push her far enough, she'll leave me..and there'll be no more fighting at all....but then the greater part of me kicks in and doesn't want her to leave me at all. sure we have our differences and we've had our fair share of problems lately - but i love her, and i just want everything to be good between us again.

my star sign for today says :
"It may be hard for you to relate to others today on certain levels, dear Aquarius. More than likely, their point of view makes very little sense based on the way you see things. Perhaps you need to open your eyes a little wider. Take a more analytical approach in your argument. Don't automatically assume that if someone disagrees with you that their opinion is wrong."
and yesterday's one was similar - so obviously there is some greater force that's turning me into an argumentative little asswipe..i just wish it'd stop.
yeah yeah, i know that at the end of the day it's up to me to stop from being so horrid to her..but really, i get into these moods so quickly, and i do so much damage, that by the time i realize what's going on it's too late, and i've already upset sam.

anywho..

on a much brighter topic, both anne rice and patricia cornwell have new books out at the moment - so really, i torn.....which one do i read first???

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