i am so fucking sick of how something small between the grrl and i can turn into something ungodly HUGE.
this morning, while i was at uni studying for my exam, the grrl and i emailed each other with the usual 'good morning' stuff..and a few emails into it, she asked me about my nite last nite. so rather than lie to her, i told her that i went out to dinner with kater, linda, renee and joh..i should have known better *sigh*
so now, almost 5 hours later, we're still fucking arguing.
the grrl wants me to have nothing more to do with linda. in fact, she's just given me the big ultimatum - me or her..
sometimes i wonder why sam and i don't just break up before we drive each other nuts...neither one of us is any more at fault than the other, and we both have our issues..but fuck me, at this rate we're just going to end up hating one another - or worse *sigh*..
fighting is so exhausting..and it's so frustrating - because really, there isn't any easy outcome.
yeah yeah...blah blah blah - linda is my ex..but she's also a part of my circle of friends..and even if i was fighing or not talking to linda, it still wouldn't mean that i'd be having nothing to do with her. afterall, this is a small town..and apart from the fact that we have a few mutual friends, kate is moving in with linda soon..and because i'm always going to hang out with kate, i'm always going to see linda.
part of me can see where sam is coming from..i know she doesn't like linda, and i know why...but to fight with me for seeing linda, and to threaten me and give me ultimatums is just unfair..i understand that linda is an ex and that alone gives sam reason to 'dislike' her...but to not trust me, or to not trust what i do, isn't fair either.
despite all the shit from our past together, linda is a good person..yeah we've had our differences, and we've bitched and screamed and fought..but all that shit is like a whole other lifetime ago...
mind you, not all of this is about linda. sam and i obviously have issues if we have to spend 5 hours fighting..especially if we have to fight about other people..
i dunno..i think i should just to go bed and pray to wake up yesterday..


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