ok so maybe there are things that i hate more than when someone drinks straight out of a fresh bottle of pepsi..
last nite, all i wanted to do was get into bed and watch CSI..but i couldn't, coz mum and rob were in there watching all saints...
ok, i thought, i'll watch csi in the lounge room and go to bed after that..only..i had to ask mum to leave at about 10pm, only to find rob asleep..i had every intention of moving him, until mum told me i was a mean and nasty bitch..
"why can't he just sleep with you?" she asked..
"because it's my fucking bed" i wanted to reply..but i didn't...
i am so sick of this "dannii's room is everyone's room" thing...fuck..it's my room...full of my stuff...all how i like it. they both have their own nice cosy rooms - complete with tv's and vcrs - why on earth do they have to tek up residence in mine??
i know this probably sounds pety - but i am very territorial..maybe i should start pissing on the floor in order to give them the hint...

so this morning, after a not-very-comfortable sleep with rob kicking and whacking me at hourly intervals, i was a very unhappy little camper...so unhappy that mum and i managed to squeeze in a 5 minute fight before i even got from my bedroom to the front door...all i wanted to know was if she was able to drive me to the station some time this afternoon between 3 and 5 pm, so that i can catch a train home to my girl..
but what do i get instead? "mmmmm..."..."errrr" "i dunno.."..
for fucks sake, it's good enough when i drop absolutely everything i am doing in order to run from melbourne up to here, but heaven forbid the time comes that i want to go home..

I WANT TO GO HOME

i just wanna go home and snuggle up with my girl..what is so bad about that?? and why do i always manage to feel so guilty for simply wanting to do that??
it's not like my mother doens't have 2 other daughters who can fill in for me ever now and then while i go abouts having my own life. i mean, why am i the only one with all the responsibility, who has to deal with all the stress and who gets to feel all the guilt if/when something else should come up??

my star signs this week said i would be feeling very selfish...but i don't see this as a selfish thing...i see it as me, your ordinary average 24 year old, who just wants to live her life, and occasionally snuggle up on the couch with her grrl..

truely, am i asking too much??

ok, so i shouldn't say that 'mum has 2 other daughters, why can't they do it", because wuite frankly - they can not..but still, it frustrates me to no end that my mother never acknowledges just how much i do do for her..and sometimes, how much i give up. she just thinks that this is my place in life, and i really do exist to do nothing other than be here and be a part of this family and do family things. sure i am a part of this family - but sam is my family, too..
sam's family had a bbq last weekend, and of course, i couldn't be there..in fact, i haven't been to a family thing with sam for a while now, and it shouldn't be that way...i'm just so sick of always having *something to do* down here...i just wanna have to be down here on mondays, tuesdays and wednesdays (for school) and head straight back to my girl with no questions asked from my mother..

i know i am just babbling and bitching..but this morning i really felt as if i was at boiling point - and it shouldn't be like that..

anyway..

"breathe deep, dannii.."
i am heading home to my grrl in approximately 5 hours, so i need to let all of this frustration go and just relax..
coz i know i'll be feeling much better tonite



0 comment so far..