i know she's sick (the flu) and i know she's sore (her ankle) and i know she's at home all alone, but still, i don't think that gives her very much of a reason to be all grumpy and bitchy at me..so we hung up grumpy at each other..and of course, then came the SMS's..so i wrote back telling her about her "attitude problem", and she retorted with "but you've been cold to me all week"...mmmm...cold? obviously i wasn't there for that..
i don't recall being very cold to her while we were wrapped around each other on the weekend...nor do i recall any coldness in the dozens of emails i've sent in the last few days that were for no other reason than to tell her i love her..
so no, definately no *cold*ness..no siree
not that it's an excuse..but i've had a prety bad fucking few weeks and i don't recall once taking it out on her or making her feel like shit. sure, sometimes i retreat in my head and let my mind wander to happier times when my family was complete...or maybe i'm a little quieter than usual. but i don't snap at her. i don't take things that aren't her fault out on her, and the most important thing is that i never try to make her feel guilty when we aren't/can't be together..that's just stepping too far over the line.
she's online at the moment..i know this because i saw her name pop up (just for a second) on my MSN list, and then a few seconds later my ICQ shut down because i was "logged in on another computer"..if she wants to act like a 5 year old because she was in the wrong, then fine..i'm not going to sink down to her level..
at the moment, i really do have enough in my head without having to worry about anything else..in between my mum, my sister, my nephew, the police, constant phone calls and my uni work, i thought that the grrl would be my safe haven - a place i could retreat to when it all just got too much. sure, maybe i've been selfish..i probably have been by thinking of myself and my studies...but at the moment, i think i am allowed to..i think it's up to me to choose to ignore more stressors..
i was supposed to be going to melbourne tomorrow. the grrl had to make an xray appointment to see about her ankle, and i was going to drive her (once i got home, of course) but now i really don't think i'll bother going. i'm just not in the mood for shit..
..bleh..
0 comment so far..
jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble