i love the grrl..
i truely do..
but sometimes i really worry that all this distance and our family responsibilities will get the better of us and come between us..
it's not that i don't have faith in her and what we have - it's just that what we do have is so damned special to me that i get so scared that one day it's just going to breakdown and end..
afterall, the events of the last few weeks really have shown me that "nothing lasts forever"..
i dunno..
maybe i'm just in an angry lil fucker of a pessimestic mood...but right now what i want most in the world is to be curled up with the grrl, but right now that seems to be the one thing in the world that i can't have..
i know we both have our commitments, and at the moment, my remaining family is mine - but sometimes i just want to be committed to nothing else but sam..pure..simple..sam..
i'm dealing with lots of internal conflict stuff at the moment, coz honestly, i just wanna be selfish and brush everyone else (and their troubles) aside and hide between the grrls legs...i don't mean in *that* way..i mean i just wanna hide with her and have her protect me from everyone else and their shit..
all this time we've been having apart is eating at me..sure, i'm the one who wanted to go back to university and stuff..but i had it planned so i'd only be up here 3 or 4 nites a week (with the exception of this week) and then i'd be straight back home and by her side..but now coz of all of the shit with my ssiter and telling her to fuck off, those plans have rolled over and died..
i even left my ethics workshop a whole hour eary to see whether of not the cunt had left yet - but no ones here..and conveniently, they've all left their mobile phones behind..so basically i don;t know wheter or not cunt really is going back to melbourne..and if she's not, and they dont get home within the next 45 minutes - i'm stuck her..and the thought of that really irritates me..
everyone here (uncluding robbie) knew how much i wanted to get back to melbourne to be with sam today...they all knew..i made it so goddamned clear...mind you, i don't mind staying to be with mum if cunt features isn't here..but if all of us are going to be here then i'm just not gonna be a happy little camper.
*sigh*..
*kicks my desk*
it's beeen almost a week since i saw the grrl last - and i gotta say i fucking HATE distance...the more time i have away from her, the more irritable and angry i get...
anyway i should go get off line just in case *someone* is trying to call and let me know where they are and what time they'll be home..

i just wanna go to melbourne

*stomping my feet like a 5 year old*

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