god i love her..[sam, that is..not buffy]
i love her in a way that i know i have never loved any one before...and that makes me feel...well...i can't really put in to words how it makes me feel, but the closest way to describe it is sheer bliss.
she makes me smile. she makes me genuinely smile. when she's around - hell, even when i just think about her, every single molecule in my body lights up and smiles..
i love her..
i love her and i love knowing that she loves me right back. she loves me and she's never afraid to let me know. last week she told me i was the 'love of her life'...wow...*getting tingly just thinking about it*
can't say i've ever been anyone's love of their life before, but i gotta say, it's the most amazing damn thing in the world to hear...and tonite, tonite about an hour after she called me to wish me a good nite, she SMS'd me.
"Baby i cannot sleep without you. I miss you heaps and love you more than life itself" - all i can say again is 'wow'. she loves me, and she's never too tired, scared, afraid, busy, or angry to admit it. she loves me, and she tells me 100 times a day. she loves me - and she makes me feel something that i could not ever possibly describe.
i've been in relationships before. hell, i've even been in love before, but i have NEVER felt like this. i have never been lucky enough to look into someone's eyes and actually see the love radiate from them.
maybe i am crazy.
maybe she doesn't radiate, but rather i need my eyes tested.
but either way, i still think she is the most wonderous person that i've ever met, and i'm constantly amazed by how lucky i am to not only know her, but to be loved by her.
i went out with mum tonite..i just picked up the car keys, grabbed her arm and said "C'mon, we're going out". naturally mum was stunned, but she didn't put up any fights and out we went. we didn't go far, just drove around traralgon and did some shopping, but we did something that we haven't done in ages - we talked.
we spoke.we bonded.
she asked me about my life, and i told her.
i told her that while i currently feel a little scattered coz i took the semester off of uni [i so desperately want to graduate and put all my studies behind me], but i told her how insanely happy i was with sam and our relationship.
mum looked at me, smiled, and told me "i already knew that..it's always so obvious".
it made me happy that mum told me she already knew that i am happy. it's good, and it means alot to me that she really does know that her little girl is having the time of her life. i guess that if she knows i am happy, then she's going to worry that little bit less about me and focus all of her energy elsewhere.
my mum is a good woman. yeah sure she drives me nuts 90% of the time, but at the end of the day i always know that she loves me and would do anything for me - no matter what.
but enough of that..
at the moment i am so tempted to call the girl, but i don't think she'd apreciate being woken up at this time of nite [that is if she's even asleep yet]. i hate the thought of going to bed without her, and i'm guessing that is why i seem to develop this 'insomnia' when i'm here without her. i'm just so used to snuggling in bed with her *sigh*. she is such the best person to sleep snuggle up with...when i'm snuggled up besides her, with my head buried in to her neck, it's the closest thing to heaven that i could even imagine.
but now i'm sounding all sappy, so i'm gonna go to bed...*yawn...even if i do have to go it alone.
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jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble