i had a friend in new york who used to write daily in her online journal....it was an obsession of hers...and it was one of the best damn journals that i think i've ever read....then one day i logged in to see what was going on in her life - and it was all gone...there was just a black screen with three simple white letters...

RIP

nah...she didn't kill herself...

turned out, that after almost 3 years of daily rants, raves and ramblings, shannon felt could no longer add any entries coz her girlfriend had stumbled upon her on-line database of thoughts and feelings..and while there was nothing awful about the girlfriend in the hundreds of entries...shannon just felt that she could no longer write freely and openly knowing that her girl was now part of the audience.

i know of a few people who every now and then take a peek into my *mind* to see what's going on...and i've gotta say, that sometimes i do watch what i write for fear of offending/upsetting anyone...but mostly i just think "what the fuck". this is my diary and these are my thoughts and i'm going to write what i need to get out in order to keep myself sane..

i did ask shannon why she was so horrified at the thought of liz reading her journal...and she told me
"...i don't care who reads it..but how can i be honest with my thoughts knowing that she'll always be wondering if i'm modifying it for her benefit..." --- and i guess that's a pretty good point....

*shrugs*
personally, i couldn't care less that sam found this and read it...hell..maybe deep down i wanted her to. you know, like she could read all the deep dark stuff that i just know i would never be able to bring myself to say in person..

afterall..there's nothing in here that i wouldn't tell her if she asked...
but more on this later..

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