i really would have thought that after my accident she just would have been glad i was coming home for a nite...but no...that would be too easy..

i have no (drivable) car, and even if i did i would be too scared to drive it back to melbourne just yet...so my mother (who is freaked out because she's convinced i would have died had i not been in the tank i was in) offered to drive me...to take me home so i can collect my books and computer and everything that i need to get for my assignment...i thought "yeah, that sounds cool...may aswell make an overnighter of it so i can see the grrl"...but no..
the grrl does not want my mother in her house...which, under normal circumstances wouldn't be such a bad thing..but these aren't normal circumstances...i came back to mum's yesterday with my backpack (full of school work) and my toothbrush...no clothes...no hair gel...no text books to finish my other assignments. sure, i could probably manage here with the clothes and toiletries that i already have in my bedroom...but i kinda need my text books...

she tells me after the fact (and the fight via sms & email) that she was planning on surprising me and coming down here on thursday and friday and chauffering me around...and as sweet as that is, i kinda need my work NOW..not thursday, not friday...NOW...so yeah...the intentions were sweet, but her way of going around it and telling me were kinda wacked out..

sometimes i think i expect too much of her...but sometimes i also wonder why i fucking bother and put in any effort here..because it's rarely reciprocated..

anyway...yet again i'm sick of whinging about my fucking relationship...it's all i ever fucking seem to do...which really does make me wonder...











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