sure, her heavily pregnant sister had a fall...
but she's safe and sound in one of the best private hospitals in melbourne and surrounded by more than enough people to take care of her..

one night..

one fucking night is all i wanted from her. no, sorry..i wanted more...i wanted one fucking night and an awsome sleepin, too..
so yeah, i'm selfish...and i obviously want too much..

she just sent me an sms saying "i thought you of all people would understand that i have to be here for my family"....mmm...seems like she only understands that philosophy when is suits her..

i'm so fucking sick of being part of a one sided relationship...i'm sick of putting in all the effort...making all the sacrifices...and going out of my way to make everything great..

if she can't give me 24hours of her time in my environment...then maybe she can't give me the relationship i want, either..

she just sent me another one, telling me that we "just have to do the long distance thing for a whiele"...well fuck that...i don't fucking WANT to do it that way anymore...i've done the long-distance-and-really-we're-nothing-but-friends-anyway routine...i want someone who craves me as much as i crave them...i want some passion and desire...i want the whole kit-and-kaboodle...and i don't seem to be getting it at the moment.

i hope i don't sound selfish - because i understand her sister is in hospital...but fuck, i can't count the times i've pushed my family (sick or healthy) aside in order to keep the grrl happy...i just wish she'd do the same for me...

anyway...this topic depresses me...

i'm going for a nap..



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