damn these clinicals..*points up there to the insanely early time*
see what they have done to my body clock??
although, going to bed at 8pm last nite in an extremely foul mood probably had something to do with my early rising
so i had awful dreams last nite...well..maybe technically they were good dreams - but i woke up feeling awful.
i had the nastiest, most raunchiest sex dreams about a whole lot of people...and the theme behind each dream was me only sleeping around to get back at sam. i'm still kind pissed that she can't come down here...
i feel like i've been waiting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG for some time with her...i mean, even way back in july when i was on my last clinical placement i was whinging about wanting the same thing...and here i am, 2 months later, still waiting.
maybe i'm selfish
maybe i expect too much
maybe i'm used to too much
but i see all these couples around me who both ache to be together...who both go out of their way to make sure they see each other...who both put their relationships before anything else.
and then there's me an sam..
sure, i understand she has work and family commitments...i totally understand that...but it's as if she believes i will always be here..waiting for her...so she can put everything else first.
i'm not a labrador..
i will not sit an wait..
(especially not much longer than i already have)..
i'm also sick of feeling like i'm not really a priority...
i dunno...i guess this relationship has been a challenge from the start, and it's be unfair of me to expect it all to turn around and change now. although, i must admit, after we broke up and got together i thought that both sam and i would really want to change everything and make it all good again..
anyway, at least someone will always love me
*meow*
i'm going back to bed..
0 comment so far..
jul 2 - fuckers
jun 13 - bored
may 11 - GAMSAT
april 20 - adios
apr 13 - babble