in previous entries, i have written about how fantasmagorical things with the grrl and i are...and how happy and content we have been lately.

it seems that whenever i write or acknowledge that fact, something comes along and drops a pebble in the tranquility of our pond.
i should know by now that admitting happiness causes something to jinx it..

she's ignoring my emails now...which is fair enough, cuz she misinterpreted (or i mis-wrote) an email...and now she's hurt...which seems to overlook everything else (including my original pissed-offness) and is now the main focus of the day.

sure, later on she will msg or email me about how "i was busy when you sent your emails"..and that's why she couldn't reply...but sometimes thoughts and feelings snowball...and sometimes "later on" becomes "too late"..

anyway....seems i can't change my early shift to a late - clinical educator chick wants us all in on an early (4 students + 8 staff = not enough work to go around)...but at least my going in late means i will be held up in traffic, and i will be extra late...so that's less hours i'm there..

i hate that place...
it brings out the worst in me.

the grrl and i had a similar problem last time i was there..

but i dont care anymore...about clinicals...about fighting...about any of it...it's all fucked, and i just wanna jump on a bus and go somewhere where i dont know anyone.


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jul 2 - fuckers

jun 13 - bored

may 11 - GAMSAT

april 20 - adios

apr 13 - babble