there is a kick-ass position going at work..and i am so very tempted to apply. i think at this stage they are pretty much just wanting to fill it, so much so, that i possibly would have a great chance if i applied..but i'm torn.
torn because it'd be a full-time gig and i have already got my mental health position next year..
i dunno..
i'm kinda torn between what i want to do, and what makes more sense doing.
and of course there is the money.
not that i'm driven by the allmighty dollar..but sometimes even i have to think about what's financially best for me and my family's future. this job could see me quite comfortable for a while. but of course, it's here in sale..and my home is in churchill..and i'm so keen to get out of sale (or rather, to get back to my family in churchill..)...i dunno...
and of course, then there is the med schoo thing.
i so desperately want to succeed and kick ass in the GAMSAT and get into medicine and embark on a career in medicine. even though i am not completely convinced i will succeed, i do want to try. even if i fail miserably, i want to always be able to say "well at least i gave it my best shot"..

so all day today i've thought about this position..about applying for it...about the pro's and con's...and i'm so fucking torn it's not funny...because i don't want to give up my mental health position - but i know an opportunity like this one wont come along very often. and i can always do mental health another time...it's so fucked..
so i called my mum for advice, and while she tried being helpful, all she really had to say was "in the end you will decide what is best for you".
but this is no longer about me..it's about her and rob, too..it's about my family - and what is going to be best for them in the long run..

anyway...it's late and i have to be at work early tomorrow...
hopefully sleeping on it will make it clearer.



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