i was reading something at work last night about how men shouldn't use their laptops on their laps as it increases their scrotal temperature thus frying their lil sperm and rendering them infertile..
mmmm...so does this mean that i should stop laying on my belly while using my laptop because it's scrambling my lesbo eggs??? (not that i'm gonna use them, but still..i dont like anything scrambled, especially not my eggs..)

anyway..

my starsign for today pretty much told me to get out there and take a chance (which is exactly how i interpreted it):-
Emotional? Who, you? Yep, but just for a few more hours. You won't be wearing your heart on your sleeve much longer, so make the most of it. Let it all out now, while you can claim temporary insanity.
which is funny..because there has been someone in my thoughts over the last few days that i've been contemplating dropping a bombshell on, and who i'm going out to dinner/a movie with tomorrow night..
"here we go again," i can hear you all say..but really, this time it's different...it is...this person isn't just any old random stranger...it's someone i've idolised and adored for years...someone that i've always held a little torch for...and someone that i would rather stop speaking to all together than fuck up a chance with..

i've been mulling these thoughts over in my head for days...not really saying much about them to anyone, cuz it always seems that when i open up and let the thoughts flow, something happens and i jinx myself. but this morning i couldn't help but ask a good friend some advice on whether i should just let this lie (like i have for the past 8 years)...or actually tell this person what i'm thinking...i'm a a little hesitant to tell her what's going on in my head. not because it would probably frighten most people off, but rather because i am currently unsure of how real these feelings are...do i really want to lay the foundations and tell this person my deepest darkest thoughts?? or am i really just lonely and wanting someone to cuddle. my wise friend in cyber space assured me that this didn't sound like the latter, as if i was truely only interested in *someone* to cuddle i've had plenty of chances at that over the last few months...so these feelings and me wanting to open up to this girl must be real..

i still have my doubts, though..
i've been so fucked up for so many months now, that i really wouldn't wish inflicting myself upon anyone..
i'm not being down on myself..but rather i know that i'm not the most level headed person at the moment..and my recent dating history has been...well...simply put - disastrous..

anyway..enough analyzing...i should roll over and get some more sleep before ali comes home. we're heading out to dinner tonight..
not only that...but i should get this laptop off my (*gasp* lap) before my eggs explode..

0 comment so far..