so to cut a long one short..the grrl came down here...i knew deep down that she would *smiling*..

so we all went to the rainbow room, and we all had fun. i took my new digital camera and got lots and lots of pics - and will upload them and put them somewhere when i have more time..
needless to say, i'm a bit hungover and really really feeling worse for wear. the grrl was supposed to leave here at about 9am this morning in order to get back to melbourne in time for her family's fathers day lunch - but we didn't get out of bed until about 11am, and she only left about an hour ago. it was fantastic seeing her and getting to spend so much time with her. we didn't really talk about all the stuff that's been going through my head recently, but we cleared up a few things which feels much better..
it seems i'm not the only one who'se feeling insecure and confused about this relationship..but i think if we're both preparred to put in the effort (and it seems she's as willing as i am)..then it could all be good again..
i do love her..and although i bitch and moan and whinge and complain about her at times - i really couldn't imagine what my life would be without her..
i'll just be glad when this clinical wraps up so that we can actually spend some time together and work through these lil issues that keep on popping up and biting us on the ass..
so yeah..

anyway..

my mother is being an unbearably unreasonable old cunt at the moment. if it's not bad enough that she's made it clear that i can't bring my own girlfriend into my own house, she's also decided to take up residence in my bedroom..
i came home this morning (quickly) to find my room is a fucking awful state...and when i complained, she told me "stop being so selfish"...then when i got back here before (cuz sam and i were hanging out at kate and ant's) it was even messier, and all i wanted to do was crawl into bed but i couldn't because she was in it...for fucks sake...i dont know what's so fantastically wonderous about my room...but when i asked her to leave all hell broke out...
i tried reasoning with her...i tried reminding her that it was my room, afterall..and she just kept telling me i was selfish.
fuck..
i dont know how many times i've told these people - but i like my space..
so then she went on telling me not to use her phone, or her tv, or her washing machine..and on and on...so i told her to get fucked.. she's out at the moment, which is why i've connected...but i can just see she's going to give me grief when she gets home..
i dont know how she expects me to want to buy a house with her...i mean, i'm 25 and i'm not even allowed to bring my girlfriend home...AND i can't even have my own fucking room..*grrr*...
well after this clinical she can get fucked...because i'm sick of it..(yes yes, i know, i say that EVERYTIME)
sure, today might be father's day and she's probably done nothing but site in my room and think of dad all day and work herself into a state - but fuck, taking it out on me won't help at all...but yeah..

i had a fantastic night last nite..
and i still haven't gotten changed or had a shower...hahaha...i just hope i sleep some of this hangover off before my 5am start tomorrow...
*bleh*