***WARNING***
SERIOUS VENT HERE















i need to get over my issues with her ex..

but her ex, also needs to get over her issues with my grrl.


i read some stuff in those emails that i shouldn't have read. but that also should not have been said.

not to an ex..

i had a hard time trusting this ex as it was...without reading what i did.
i'm glad i read it though - because, i must admit, i was beginning to think i was overreacting.
but i wasn't..

tonite the grrl, the ex and i were online. i was chatting to the grrl, and will admit, i was getting pissy that i thought the ex was getting more attention from then grrl than i was (how very childish of me, eh?)...and suddenly, out of nowhere, i got a msg from the ex saying "just thought you'd want to know i'm getting offline now"..

what the fuck?
who writes that shit?

then it made me think that the grrl must have told her how i was getting pissy (which made me even more pissy)..
so i replied "now if only it was permanent"..
i should have known better..

i shouldn't have bitten her bait..

but i did..

for a few seconds there, i stopped being the better person that i know that i am..

why i'm threatened by a skank like that, i don't know..
i know the grrl would never go back there...i've always known that...yet her behaviour still gets to me.
it still distracts me..it still makes me turn into a not-so-nice person..
and that gives her power..

i also hate that she would have so little respect for the grrl's relationship with me..and so little respect for her own.
she wrote stuff to the grrl, that her own partner would not be very pleased about.
and that pisses me off..

sure, i have at times done things that have disrespected my relationship with the grrl..but i have never ever once done anything to disrespect another person's relationship.
i know what boundaries are..
and i know when to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself when it comes to someone else's woman.

i hate that someone as socially retarded as this skank would have such an effect on me.
and i'm ashamed that such a horrid little cretin would evoke such awful behaviour..

*taking deep breaths*
but i need to get over it..
and ignore her..
she honestly, does not deserve to be responsible for the amount of energy that i expend thinking (and writing) about her..

the grrl told me tonite that she loved my strength of character..and how all this shit with her ex has made her question that..

i need to just believe in the fact that the grrl loves me..that she wants me...and that she would never go back to that thing..

i need to spend these next 3 nights away, and just focus on sam..

i need to make us work this time..



(JUST CURIOUS - DOES THIS COUNT AS DEFAMATION???)



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